Quirky Sentimentalist Gifts

Newton's Cradle Romance

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Pigeon Little

'I met him on a Monday and my heart stood still (would you believe?)')

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

Reverse psychology

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

"Don't editorialize."

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

"And so another trip comes to an end...with family brought closer together by a shared experience."

Man finishing painting through flap in door.

Texturing the Walls

"When I was a puppy, I barked as a puppy, I understood as a puppy, I thought as a puppy. But when I became a dog, I put away puppy things except for my shabby, old, beat-up stuffy toy. I still freaking love this thing."

"Sorry - He's changed His mind again. Stripes on the zebra, spots on the giraffe, no stars on the lion and make the elephant bigger and the amoebae smaller."

"There's no need to be em'bear'rassed about what you like!"

Have I told you lately that I love you

"The house doesn't seem big because the kids are gone - it seems big because we've shrunk so much."

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with a positive message.

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

Attic of hopes and dreams...

"Somehow, some way, we have to guide these people back to reality!"

'A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, a CD player, a laptop computer, a cordless phone and thou.'

"I want a pony!"

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

"Cliff's really devoted to his art. He'll wait hours for someone to take a shot to the groin."

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

'A little squirt like Graubart would theorize that the Universe is contracting!'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

The stone is semi-precious, so I got you two.

Jeffrey's Time Machine: '...I want to go back and see what the world was like when people weren't so stupid and annoying!'