Quirky Expressionist Gifts

I can't do anything with my hair. It doesn't like to go to movies or concerts, or play games. It's just really dull.

'I want you to be aware the bats in my belfry are a protected species.'

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

Man finishing painting through flap in door.

Texturing the Walls

"Sorry - He's changed His mind again. Stripes on the zebra, spots on the giraffe, no stars on the lion and make the elephant bigger and the amoebae smaller."

"Outré or simply bad?"

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'

"Somehow, some way, we have to guide these people back to reality!"

'Yes, I'm very excited. I really think that I will make my mark as a surrealist miniaturist.'

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

Who are you?

"Cliff's really devoted to his art. He'll wait hours for someone to take a shot to the groin."

"My two-year-old actually did paint that."

Man playing a harmonica on a exercise bike bores customers in a restaurant

"I didn't have a carrot so I used a fish stick for his nose."

Tupperware Wolf

"Practicing my hate-face."

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

A dog whose nose is a gun.

"Well, that's right. It is a disco ball. The regular lamp is in the shop."

'He swallowed some of his acrylic paints and now he's artsy fartsy.'

"I've found if I squint my eyes and frown, it looks like I'm concentrating rather than sleeping.".

"Can you just once get to the damn point without the usual embellishments?"

"I see the radiator's Baroque again."

'My dear boy its a wonderful display of post modern expressionism with overtones of Dada.'

Damn these sprinklers and government fire regulations.

"Tee hee. . . Turner Prize here I come. . .!"

"It's ok for you! My cartoonist just can't adapt to his new varifocals!!"

'Hope you don't mind the boxing gloves. I'm no good at hands.'

'Allow me to suck the electricity out.'