Quirky Resume Enthusiast Gifts

'My resume has a scratch and sniff section.'

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

The world's most unemployable family

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

Blend Schools

"What sets you apart from other candidates?"

'Qualifications aside, Mr Thumb, this is the cutest resume I've ever seen.'

"It says here you can think on your feet. What happens when you sit down?"

"I'm fascinated by your résumé, particularly the advertising supplement."

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

"Hi Mom...do you remember in which grade I was given an award for my excellent performance of the song about little ducks?"

PERSONNEL, 'Any awards or honors OTHER than being the valedictorian of your remedial class?'

"Well, what a coincidence, Jeff's in vermin control too!"

"You say in your resume that you're very meticulous."

"You have excellent academic credentials and a wonderful work history but we try not to profile people."

"I think you left something of your resumé... writer of fiction!"

'I see that you have a B.A. degree in collating and stapling. Your parents must be very proud.'

'My tutor kindly agreed to help!'

"Your experience is impressive and your qualifications excellent but I'm afraid you're let down by not being the same as everyone else."

'I'm hiring a football equipment manager to add some padding to my résumé.'

'Guilty? But I just hired an expensive personnel firm to update my resume.'

Exciting suggestion in 'suggestion box'.

Dexter Flynn, Taxidermy Attorney.

"What made this guy stand out?" "He applied."

'We have an opening for a receptionist and a sales person and I'm ready to quit. How are you at multitasking?'

'Tell me, Mr Tolteck, have you applied for the headhunter or the key account manager position?'

"This is juicy - tell me more!"

"...I'm available for interview, at your convenience!"

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

'I'm afraid there's be a resume mix up. We meant to call Grim C Reaper.'

'OK, I see you've worked as a driving instructor for the past 23 years.'

'I see Charlie's moonlighting again.'

'Your resume is very impressive. We can't hire you but we don't want you to get away, so we're going to lock you in a closed for six months.'

"Your resume, under 'experience' states that you once owned a piggy bank. Tell me about that."