Quirky Recruiter Gifts

Lateral Recruits

'...No it's Malcom from ***** after someone with autocad experience in elecro-mechanical design.'

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

"That's our new church mascot."

I think you'll appreciate my resume. It's printed on a fridge magnet.

'This is impressive, Roberts, but I'm not sure that it qualifies as work-place leadership.'

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

'We're looking for someone to liven up our Monday morning job meetings. Can you handle it Chuckles?'

"Well, you certainly seem to have a lot to offer this company, and, of course, the truffles are a hell of a plus."

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

"Get me a young fella-me-lad with a jib I like the cut of."

Floss Street Vendor

'Smith, where exactly did you get your experience in 'Hedge Fund Management'?'

"What sets you apart from other candidates?"

Urine Catcher

"The boss is the fatherly type. He never fires anybody."

"A Ph.D. in particle physics, experience in aerospace and rocketry...of course I can juggle."

'As you know, this job requires leadership experience. Have you had any?'

"And the hiring committee was very impressed with your no nonsense attitude during the interview."

"Any other skills?"

'My resume,...in rap form!'

Child selling cold lemonade in the winter

"I work well independently. I usually correct all the problems I create."

Doomsday marketing

'Man, I gotta find a new gig!'

'Now THIS is my idea of a creative department.'

"An MBA, a PhD, AND good at catching mice? Wow!"

'Bancroft, it's time to pay the salesmen their bonuses. Would you please stop at the butchers' shop and get a few pounds of raw meat?'

'...hmm ...I predict an upturn in profits this year.'

'I can assure you Mr. Rumplestilkskin, weaving straw into gold is a skill we can certainly use...'

Man in the stocks on his typewriter.

Free Hamster, "That's novel, getting a free hamster with every meal."