Quirky Quotes Pillows

"I can never go metric. 'Al's 30.48 Centimeter Hot Dogs' just doesn't sound right."

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

Pigeon Little

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

Best before 65 million BC.

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

Reverse psychology

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

Ostriches making out

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

"Underweird bras."

'Edible food! Eeeeedible food!'

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

'Is the water cold?'

"I'm an ass is half-full kind of donkey."

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

'I've got an amoeba here who wants to go to Officer's Candidate School.'

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

"You've got termites."

'I'm typecast!'

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

"The gods aren't angry, Tara. They're just hurt and disappointed."

'It says 'three percent split infititives, 8 percent passive verbs, 16 percent compound-complex sentences,average sentence length 26 words,paperback rights $3.2 million,movie sales $8.3 million,total take $11.5 million,less 5 percent agents fees.'

"Is it always so cloudy?"

"It Works For Us."

"It's chic to be vulnerable."