Quirky Quotes Lover Pillows

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

Here lies Alexander 'Shut up I know what I'm doing' Jackson 1949 - 1984.

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"You left this on our ship."

"I love you, you big fool."

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

'Now I am become life, creator of worlds."

"Daddy is off to work in a data mine."

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

'Can I have flies with that'

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

Toenail clipping missile.

"Barnes is morphing into some kind of strange creature. I warned him about eating out of the vending machines."

Sir Isaac Newton wondered how he couldexplain this! (Pineapple)

Advertising on the internet.

Cow Cong vs Toilet Rolls.

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

"As Maggie Thatcher once said: 'Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.'"

Crane fishing

Dogs looking at a fire hydrant in an art gallery.

Clearing the castle's moat.

'There's a software glitch. The drones have built a hive and are trying to make honey.'