Quirky Quotes Enthusiast Pillows

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"Why the gumboots? Well, I can't stand slimy things touching my feet..."

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

My parents ate New York and all I got was this stupid t-shirt

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

Football Crazy strip six

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

Cheesie Rider

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

"I'm a monster."

God with Earth Controller

"Your animal companionship is here!"

'Not only do we have no natural enemies we have no natural friends.'

The Frankenstein snowman.

"Overkill, dude."

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

Tasty.

"Oh, I don't do the test myself Sir: Doctor Vampire does it..."

"The usual."

Snorkeling: A Dollar A Minute

'I'm just curious, which one of you was dropped off by their boyfriend on a really fast motorcycle?'

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

Mummy Shrink.