Witty Quote Enthusiast Pillows

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

"Touché"

"Tia Carmen, did you ever wish summer was over...so you could be in school?"

"I've been reading a book of famous quotations. It's amazing how many are by a famous Greek named Anonymous."

'Quotes, woof, woof, woof, woof, closed quotes.'

"I love this time of year."

Frog Prince thinks: 'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horsefly.'

"I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5-6 times, just to be sure."

"It doesn't look much like a 'witty painting' now, does it sir?"

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

A lesson in wit

'I inherited therefore I am'

Spiv

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

'Yeah, but tomorrow I'll be sober, and you'll still be a giraffe!'

"Yeah, I know why you pulled me over. But, c'mon. I'm down to half a pack a day and I'm tryin' to quit."

Know-it-alls

Tom Bowler

Fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice, you may be qualified to go to law school!

"Can I have a knife and fork, please."

"Son, talk loudly and carry a big shtick.

"At work, they call me benchmark."

"Did you say something? I thought I heard a sound bite."

'With Myrna and I, it was love at first slight.'

"Will you please stop quoting Gertrude Stein

'I'm having trouble with drinking. . . I'm getting Arthritis in my elbow.'

Advertising makes you crave things you never knew existed.

'I never know when you're joking!'