Quirky Quote Lover Pillows

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

The Way We Were

'Don't be silly - I love you for your body AND your tiny little brain!'

"Everyone will be squamous for 15 minutes"

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"You left this on our ship."

"I love you, you big fool."

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

'Can I have flies with that'

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"Daddy is off to work in a data mine."

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

Toenail clipping missile.

"Barnes is morphing into some kind of strange creature. I warned him about eating out of the vending machines."

Sir Isaac Newton wondered how he couldexplain this! (Pineapple)

Cow Cong vs Toilet Rolls.

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

Clearing the castle's moat.

Crane fishing

Dogs looking at a fire hydrant in an art gallery.

'There's a software glitch. The drones have built a hive and are trying to make honey.'