Quirky Quote Lover Pillows

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

The Way We Were

'Don't be silly - I love you for your body AND your tiny little brain!'

"Everyone will be squamous for 15 minutes"

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"You left this on our ship."

"I love you, you big fool."

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

Astral Projection

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

He wanted a different one.

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'Can I have flies with that'

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

"Daddy is off to work in a data mine."

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

Plant Parenthood...

Litter Tray Stonehenge

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

Updated fairy tales - "Cinderella." Dating Service. It's not often we get a client looking for a specific shoe size.

Sir Isaac Newton wondered how he couldexplain this! (Pineapple)

"Barnes is morphing into some kind of strange creature. I warned him about eating out of the vending machines."

Toenail clipping missile.

Cow Cong vs Toilet Rolls.

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'