Quirky Quotes Gifts

"I can never go metric. 'Al's 30.48 Centimeter Hot Dogs' just doesn't sound right."

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

Pigeon Little

Best before 65 million BC.

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

Reverse psychology

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

Ostriches making out

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

"Underweird bras."

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

'Edible food! Eeeeedible food!'

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

'Is the water cold?'

Plant Parenthood...

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

Jeffrey's Time Machine: '...I want to go back and see what the world was like when people weren't so stupid and annoying!'

"I'm an ass is half-full kind of donkey."

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

"If all you have is a whatchamacallit then every problem looks like a thingamajig."

'I've got an amoeba here who wants to go to Officer's Candidate School.'

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

"I'll have the 'All you can eat from the menu, the kitchen, and the dumpster' special."

"You've got termites."

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

'I'm typecast!'

"It Works For Us."

'Did you ever wonder why iced coffee is goof but cold coffee isn't? . . . You're not curious like I am.'

'Don't be silly - I love you for your body AND your tiny little brain!'

"The gods aren't angry, Tara. They're just hurt and disappointed."