Quirky Queue Artist Gifts

Now Showing - Titanic: Queue Here: Women + Children First.

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

Einstein develops his theories that time is relative while ordering at a fast food restaurant.

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

Man finishing painting through flap in door.

Texturing the Walls

"Sorry - He's changed His mind again. Stripes on the zebra, spots on the giraffe, no stars on the lion and make the elephant bigger and the amoebae smaller."

Birds doing the 'wave'.

"Albert is the first whistler to use hearing aid feedback as an intro to one of his tunes."

"Somehow, some way, we have to guide these people back to reality!"

A man looking askance at a child on a tank-like skateboard

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

"Cliff's really devoted to his art. He'll wait hours for someone to take a shot to the groin."

"My two-year-old actually did paint that."

"I didn't have a carrot so I used a fish stick for his nose."

"And now, Bach's Brandenburg Concerto, Number One, first movement."

A dog whose nose is a gun.

Tupperware Wolf

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

Porcupine meets horseshoe crab

"Well, that's right. It is a disco ball. The regular lamp is in the shop."

Annoying xylophone solicitors.

"I see the radiator's Baroque again."

Damn these sprinklers and government fire regulations.

"It's ok for you! My cartoonist just can't adapt to his new varifocals!!"

'Hope you don't mind the boxing gloves. I'm no good at hands.'

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

"Tee hee. . . Turner Prize here I come. . .!"

'Allow me to suck the electricity out.'

"Ok, let's sneak up on Mr. Canvas and see if we can make a good impression."

"Due to government legislation, we're not permitted to smoke inside anymore."

Seven males, ranging in age from a baby to an old man, wait in a line monitored by a uniformed guard.

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

Instant Gratification service desk (with a long queue and delay)