Quirky Quack Gifts

Fred questions whether Dr. McWit's Quick Draw Stress Tests are AMA approved.

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

Best before 65 million BC.

Funky Facts: Football.

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"Elementary, my dear Quackson."

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

Inflatable Duck Boat

'Save your money - he's a quack.'

"What would you like me to play next?"

'This duck call works too well.'

'Is the water cold?'

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

'If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, it' actually a gene-modified flounder.'

'Well you certainly walk like a duck and quack like a duck.'

"There's no such thing as 'just' ducky."

Veterinary Clinic. No, it's not a "wading" room.

Over. Under. Sideways. Kid.

'OK, now I'm freaked out. How'd he get my cell phone number?'

"I haven't slept well since you pointed out that these modeling sessions are a form of betrayal."

'Tell me. How many acupuncture treatments did doctor Wing give you?'

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Rocks The Vote

"But we had stir-fry last night and the night before."

'I got 50p - how much did you get?'

'If you can't get a doctor, dear, at least try to marry a quack.'

A Con-artist offering brain scans to the public from his flatbed scanner.

New-Age junk diet.

'i thought I'd held him get rid of his chronic depression . . .'

I like a screw-cap for the convenience, but I like a cork for

No, pal, I don't know if the chicken is free-range.

"On the evening of May 8th, I was a) at the office b) out with friends c) at home murdering my wife."

"Please don't call me names because you're feeling down in the mouth."

Mouse execution