Quirky Profile Writer Pillows

Cat typing on computer 'SWF wants to share crinkle toys and long naps in the sun. Neutering a must.'

Giraffe Selfie

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with a positive message.

"I'm keeping 'up' distance... there's a reason they are called DROPlets."

Shakespeare Ave

"What a coincidence! I enjoy sleeping and running around the house for no reason, too."

Indian snake charmer charms a snake.

"But sir, you may think you want underwear, but your internet consumer profile says you want a jet ski."

'On the internet, nobody knows you're a monkey.'

"Online I said I was 'blond and curvy', I didn't say I was a woman!"

Man in the stocks on his typewriter.

'Please sir, I did give you the correct answer. But, you gave me the wrong question.'

"Granted, I could have read your body of work to find out you specialize in dirty limericks before appointing you state poet laureate."

'The best the grotty magus could do was produce a footy pagurid.'

'What kind of person are you?! Answer this yes or no question and you'll find out. . . Have you ever dropped food on the floor and went ahead and served it to guests?'

'Oh yeah. . . she's the one that has a great personality.'

Sign on a shopper: 'Yes actually I do own the pavement'.

'All of your issues are prickly issues.'

'This is coming from someone who drinks from a toilet bowl.'

"Well, there are cat people and dog people and..."

'Nothing from the Nobel Committee or the National Endowment for the Arts, but you have a tentative offer from Burma-Shave.

F&E Songwriters. We have an order for a song for the hypochondriac society! Great! You write the words and I'll do the malady!

'At least getting run over by a hearse fit his sense of humour.'

Dear diary, I have to make this quick. I think my blog is onto us.

'We met online and straight away we just had this amazing connection...'

I Do Not Have OCD

'Actually, I'm more of a control nut - not a control freak. A nut is a freak you kind of like.'

'My social network friends would never find me. They'd look for a 20 years old, slim and sporty guy with curly hair.'

Man with typewriter on toilet.

'That's our founder and his parole officer.'

"He's a bit OCD with his spaghetti."

'I wish they'd look for a different virus. I'm just too gregarious to be isolated.'

A pen rests in an ashtray.

Ernie, your online dating profile says you're tall, athletic and wealthy. this is the biggest joke I've ever seen! Good point, Frank. I need to add something about my great sense of humor!