Quirky Personality Analyst Pillows

'You're just one of those guys, Neil, that people like more in theory than in practice.'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

"Has it occurred to you that you keep getting beaten up because that's your true purpose in life?"

Real Estate Personals

'We'll talk later, Ed, but for now we have a quick and dirty solution to your objections.'

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

'Stick and Carrot Business Incentive Consultants.'

'Listen, Geoffrey ...I know you're a clinical psychologist, but I DON'T have A.D.D. ! You're just incredibly boring.'

'Sheisse ... What ein dream!' - Freud

Bald man with a brush on his head

You're making me very angry right now, Al. Did you know that before Rorschach came up with his inkblot test, he had one that involved blood spatters?

"What a coincidence! I enjoy sleeping and running around the house for no reason, too."

"Nah. I'm a crow. Some jerk put bleach in the birdbath."

"My idea of an agreeable person is one who agrees with me."

She was always an introvert.

If you were an iceberg...

"You're the 'child psychologist'?"

"We're not all grim you know - I'm a happy reaper."

"And how long have you had this superiority complex?"

"Because you always do that with your fingers."

'I'm worried, Master has suddenly developed a morbid obsession: He asks me to play dead all the time now...'

'Please tell me you aren't my roommate.'

"I'm overbearing, conceited and obsessed with status."

H. J. Eysenck

Monster Club. It's difficult to get this entire group to a ball game. Yeah, Dracula will go only on bat day. King Kong has to be in the upper deck. Jekyll and Hyde only go to double-headers. There must be a full moon for the werewolf to go. And of course The Hulk will only sit atop the Fenway Park left field wall. Yeah, he loves the green monster! Red Sox.

Saturday was fantasy dysfunctional relationship day.

"It's not a sexual thing - I just enjoy dressing up in sheep's clothing."

'Since I also believe you are a rabbit, Mr Curtlow, I am uncertain as to how to proceed.'

"I'll admit, he may be a bit odd, maybe even creepy. But, he is hands down the best bell ringer we've ever had."

'Oh yeah. . . she's the one that has a great personality.'

'What kind of person are you?! Answer this yes or no question and you'll find out. . . Have you ever dropped food on the floor and went ahead and served it to guests?'

We have a lot in common. I'm free range and he's off the leash.

'You'll have to excuse my brother. He's a little different.'

Conclusions Drawn: Still lives at home with Mom and Dad.