Quirky Profile Writer Gifts

Cat typing on computer 'SWF wants to share crinkle toys and long naps in the sun. Neutering a must.'

Giraffe Selfie

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with a positive message.

Shakespeare Ave

"I'm keeping 'up' distance... there's a reason they are called DROPlets."

"What a coincidence! I enjoy sleeping and running around the house for no reason, too."

Indian snake charmer charms a snake.

"But sir, you may think you want underwear, but your internet consumer profile says you want a jet ski."

'On the internet, nobody knows you're a monkey.'

"Online I said I was 'blond and curvy', I didn't say I was a woman!"

Man in the stocks on his typewriter.

'Please sir, I did give you the correct answer. But, you gave me the wrong question.'

'The best the grotty magus could do was produce a footy pagurid.'

"Granted, I could have read your body of work to find out you specialize in dirty limericks before appointing you state poet laureate."

'What kind of person are you?! Answer this yes or no question and you'll find out. . . Have you ever dropped food on the floor and went ahead and served it to guests?'

'Oh yeah. . . she's the one that has a great personality.'

Sign on a shopper: 'Yes actually I do own the pavement'.

'This is coming from someone who drinks from a toilet bowl.'

'Nothing from the Nobel Committee or the National Endowment for the Arts, but you have a tentative offer from Burma-Shave.

'We met online and straight away we just had this amazing connection...'

I Do Not Have OCD

'At least getting run over by a hearse fit his sense of humour.'

"Well, there are cat people and dog people and..."

'All of your issues are prickly issues.'

'Actually, I'm more of a control nut - not a control freak. A nut is a freak you kind of like.'

Man with typewriter on toilet.

'My social network friends would never find me. They'd look for a 20 years old, slim and sporty guy with curly hair.'

"He's a bit OCD with his spaghetti."

'That's our founder and his parole officer.'

'I wish they'd look for a different virus. I'm just too gregarious to be isolated.'

'I like Jazz dance, rollerblading and strip malls. And, well, that's me in a nutshell.'