Quirky Prize Seeker Pillows

'Most exotic fleas'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

Ball as water-melon.

A watch face with Stonehenge

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

Where Deviled Eggs come from

Customer entering bank that is touting number of toasters given away

I think you'll appreciate my resume. It's printed on a fridge magnet.

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

Santa's Helpers

"Roadkill cookies"

"Pass that."

International House of Excrement

Regifts of the Magi

"What seems to be the problem?"

Sniffathon: The Dog world's version of a Kissathon

'Buy two pounds and I'll throw in the sword.'

'If you're out and about today don't forget the pith helmet.'

Perks

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

"That's $20 for you if you pluck the tail feathers off my rival over there..."

"I'm glad I don't have to put gas in it. the downside is that it takes a lot of time to put 3,000 AA batteries in it."

"And do you have any OTHER skills you can bring to the post apart from being able to burp the Beatles greatest hits?"

'...You're just not built to take selfies.'

Notorious gangsters, Bunny and Clyde.

'Oh no its going to be one of those days.'

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

The Salivation army.

A man's brain is in a glass on his bed stand next to his dentures.