Quirky Competition Enthusiast Pillows

'The first Santa to consume one thousand warm beers and one thousand pieces of fruit cake without barfing wins the Santa apprenticeship!'

World's Strongest ManWorld's Strangest Man.

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

To Nigel's irritation, his next door neighbour already had nuclear capability. . .

'Can our software do that?'

Putin and Zelensky

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

Boomerang cow.

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

"It's a jungle out there... and I hear you're an expert."

"Must you use the cat's litter box to practice your sand trap swing?"

Golf Hole at bottom of lake.

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

Danth battle?

"Looks like somebody brought a blanky to a pillow fight."

No Time-Outs Left. Please Help.

Sniffathon: The Dog world's version of a Kissathon

The Cricketer and the Golfer

"Yeah, I won the Finest Quality Wool award, but it was a tough competition: There were contestants from all over Australia and New Zealand..."

Big Guys vs Little Guys

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

Angels crying because they lost first place to a big butch man

'Costume - What costume?'

'It's just possible that the best candidate is the one who wins the Spoon Race.'

It had taken a team of engineers at IBM over a decade and had cost more than 50 million dollars, but that nigh, when Eat-Bot 4000 finally broke the record for hot dogs in an hour, it was all worth it.

A powerful tennis serve loosens the strings of a tennis racquet.

'By the way, no one has ever beaten me and lived to tell about it.'

Eight puns

'I prefer Brand X myself.'

I don't know … some days it all feels like a big game.

Chef Contest. Ernie, it's not sporting to chant "batter, batter, batter" during a pancake cook-off.

Hit a duck, win a prize.

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"