Quirky Contest Lover Pillows

Foot Fetish Bar: Tonight - Wet Sock Contest

'It's just possible that the best candidate is the one who wins the Spoon Race.'

Hey kids! Enter Our Name the New Variant Contest....

Annual Lump Festival Competition:'I don't know if I can give an award, they're all so fantastic..'

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'It says here you can talk trash in five languages.'

Sniffathon: The Dog world's version of a Kissathon

'The employee who guesses closest to the correct number of beans in this jar will be awarded this year's annual pay increase! -Management, ATOZ Accountants

'Rhea of the Year.'

It had taken a team of engineers at IBM over a decade and had cost more than 50 million dollars, but that nigh, when Eat-Bot 4000 finally broke the record for hot dogs in an hour, it was all worth it.

Hit a duck, win a prize.

'Congratulations. You're our 15th caller. The grant is yours!'

'My competitor down the street sasses his parents.'

"See. I told you they have Roomba Rodeos when we're gone."

'The contest brought in only twenty two wrappers...'

100m Flies Race: Entomological Olympiad.

Tug the Toggle

I must say, that's the most pathetic bar promotion I've ever seen. Tuesdays! Wet Socks Contest!

Strange Wrestling

'I'm not sure that mentioning your diploma in 'Monkey Business' really helps your resume...'

'I'm doing a 'Win a Date with a Computer Geek' contest on my website.'

'You're excited about winning a traveling toothbrush kit in a sweepstakes after spending $300 on postage and entering 1,500 contests?'

Golden Village: Lawn Mowing Races

Abductee of the Month

'The first Santa to consume one thousand warm beers and one thousand pieces of fruit cake without barfing wins the Santa apprenticeship!'

A crooked guy looking normal in a fun house mirror.

Rudy, you wanna know possible names for your generation? Huh? The L-Generation for loser, the C-generation for clueless or connected, J for jerk or W for whiners. These readers suggestions all have something in common. None of them won the contest to name Rudy's generation. Not that we're taunting the non-winners. C'mon, taunt the losers!! Winner to be named any day now.

Man Wins Second Prize in a Knobbly-Knees Competition.

'Most exotic fleas'

Knobbly knees champion

'I must say, that's the most pathetic bar promotion I've ever seen.'

Angel Wins Publisher's Clearing House

Shopping Cart Races

"Yes! I love having staring contests with you!!"