Quirky Plant Explorer T-Shirts

Mystery vegetable growing in plot.

Bonsai tree held up by matchstick

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

'This flower won't let go of my nose.'

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

"My God!!..Just how long have we had this Broccoli hiding in the back of the fridge?"

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

Fall fashions

'This species of fungi was last spotted in Oxford by Alice Liddell in 1862!'

"I didn't know it was poison ivy. It didn't have any warning labels."

Executive grows martinis in his garden.

Mowing the Bottle-Garden

"These hostas are out of control!"

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fives on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

"Now, that's my kind of gardener: somebody who grows dandelions! I love dandelions..."

Cactus Man.

'I tried to tell him I didn't think it was a tomato.'

'Heaven welcomes botanists, we've millions of extinct plants that need classifying!'

'This corner of the garden's a bit of a subtropical micro-climate actually...'

"I think it's a Spider Plant bite."

'Try to remember what it said on the packet.'

'Say when.'

"It's not intended to be an exotic plant garden...it's where we used to have the bird feeder."

Titan Arum

'Try not to sit still for too long dear, the convulvulus is really rather virulent.'

Talk to your plants - but never enter a suicide pact with one.

"...Father Gill would not accept that whistling could not be a substitute for water."

Budget Cryogenics

'So, Bjorn, I hear you've gone vegan!'

Bonsai Gardener

'I think you've talked it to death, dear.'

Planties

"I'd best turn it round off the window."

Venus Fly Trap.

'Are You Still Experiencing Visual Disturbances?'