Quirky Phobia Enthusiasts Gifts

'What is clausophobia?' - 'Fear of Father Christmas.'

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

Blind man walking a tortoise.

Football Crazy strip six

Fat Kid 14- Gets re-animated

"Pencil eraser."

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

'If it wasn't for you darling - I think I would go crazy!'

'A bucket and pail would have been enough.'

Surgeons prepare for the world's first loopendectomy. Objective: Remove that part of the brain that plays the same snippet of music over the over and over.

'The smallest line I can read says 'Made In China'.'

'We don't discriminate per se - we just don't hire Lyle Lovett lookalikes.'

'For claustrophobia. Take two tablets right before hiding under the bed.'

'It freaks me out that you're keeping your dead mum preserved in Formalin on the mantelpiece!'

'We can now offer you a free range egg option.'

Rubbing alcoholics anonymous.

"I can't help you with your chronic whistling. You don't need a psychiatrist, you need a musicologist!"

"Are you trying to tell me something, dearest?"

'I couldn't run away with you. I feel I would be depriving a village of its idiot!'

'Wow, a weird animal without a mouth.'

"For Valentine's Day. I thought you might enjoy breakfast in bed."

Are you sure you know what you're doing?

Cross-Breeding Oops #3: The Dooodledoodle

'A most powerful, moving and scary book - botanists will love it!'

'Don't look right now Carla, but there's a REALLY cute guy in the corner giving you the eye.' A man offering his own eye to a woman.

Circus News

'Today, students, we will discuss lameness in fish.'

Eccentric clothing may tend to interfere with play.

'Why couldn't you wear glasses like everyone else?'

"The inspector's not getting older. He's getting odder."