Comedic Phobia Enthusiast Gifts

Whenever I feel pretty good my husband takes care of that phobia. 'Bell bottoms are being with it. I'm with it!'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

Trumpeter swan meets trombone swan.

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

"Pencil eraser."

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

I'm afraid of Chia Pets, doctor. Actually, Al, so am I. Either you're getting well, or I'm going nuts.

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

"You heading south again this summer?"

'You Have a food allergy. Even worse it's to 'O' type!'

'I'm not trying to take away from the fact that you are a twisted, brilliant genius. . .but what is with the size of this bloody forehead?!?'

2 mummies...

'Evil Olive'- An evil olive has taken out his co-workers with cocktail swords.

'For claustrophobia. Take two tablets right before hiding under the bed.'

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

"Any other educational qualifications besides Trump university?"

Vampire Sit ups

'The bartender referred me to a shoe shine boy, and the shoe shine boy referred me to you.'

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

"Any luck"

"It's your husband from beyond. He says stop trying to 'Google' him."

'And why do you think you developed this overwhelming fear of couches?'

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

Just unburied.

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

Psychiatry. It's funny. You're a germaphobe and the last patient on that couch has a phobia about soap!

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

No, thank you, I brought my own bag.

'Recommended reading' selection of books e.g.'Team spirit, by Geoffrey Boycott'

Eskimo in Igloo

'He doesn't like to be called an Optometrist. He prefers the title 'Visionary'!'

Hmmm, this reminds me...your mother called last night.