Comedic Phobia Enthusiast Pillows

Whenever I feel pretty good my husband takes care of that phobia. 'Bell bottoms are being with it. I'm with it!'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

Trumpeter swan meets trombone swan.

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

"Pencil eraser."

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

"You heading south again this summer?"

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

'I'm not trying to take away from the fact that you are a twisted, brilliant genius. . .but what is with the size of this bloody forehead?!?'

2 mummies...

'Evil Olive'- An evil olive has taken out his co-workers with cocktail swords.

'You Have a food allergy. Even worse it's to 'O' type!'

'For claustrophobia. Take two tablets right before hiding under the bed.'

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

'The bartender referred me to a shoe shine boy, and the shoe shine boy referred me to you.'

Vampire Sit ups

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

"Any luck"

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

'And why do you think you developed this overwhelming fear of couches?'

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

Eskimo in Igloo

'Recommended reading' selection of books e.g.'Team spirit, by Geoffrey Boycott'

"What makes you think I'm pregnant?"

"I swear! As soon as she saw me, she jumped onto a chair and started screaming! It was hilarious..."