Comedic Horror Lover Pillows

'I'm not trying to take away from the fact that you are a twisted, brilliant genius. . .but what is with the size of this bloody forehead?!?'

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

"And last week I nearly crashed while reading on the freeway..."

She did only twenty-eight of the thirty-two fouetts in the Black Swan pas de deux . . . or are my eyes deceiving me?

'Yes, I'm fiercely opposed to stem cell research.'

"I want to be upfront. At this point, I'm only looking for a casual hookup of Frankenstein."

Vampire shaving cut dilemma.

Professor Van Helsing's long and successful career as a vampire hunter, came to a sudden end due to woodworm.

'You Have a food allergy. Even worse it's to 'O' type!'

Candle Size

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

2 mummies...

Igor's zombie predecessor had a short-lived career assisting Dr. Frankenstein.

Pinata Crime Scene Investigation.

"He goes to the bathroom a lot. Where did you get the kidneys?"

Vampire Sit ups

'So I finally got cable.'

Zombie scout issues

A boast of ghosts

'I'm here to read the meter.'

'I didn't recognize your old boyfriend at first. He's got a new car.'

A vein of vampires

"Okay, who wants a wrap, who gets a steak and who's the fish?"

"Just as I expected, Mrs Frimley. You've got vampires."

'Man, can't find the keys again! Now do you think these things would come with a light? No, that would make too much sense!'

Venn Diagram of 'love' and 'horror films'

How Am I Scaring?

'...He's an out of control freak.'

Coffin & Breakfast.