Quirky Pet Fixer Gifts

'Oh, you use buttons to hold his eye stitches in place!'

'Fetch.'

Biofelineism

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

"And always remember...If you're going to be sick, always do it on the carpet. It's more absorbent."

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

he used to belong to a cartoonist

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

Lady taking her Cochin chickens for a walk.

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'And this is scraps.'

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

"That was the pet store, dear - they want to know if you've noticed any minor flashes of aggression in Joey since starting the steroid bird feed?"

"I guess people want dogs with no problems. Lucky for me, all I've got is quirks."

'Walking your pet amoeba again, Henry?'

'Last year's 'Bring your pet to work day' turned out very well.'

'Hey Joe!...Me? Oh,nothing much,just out walking the fish.And you?...'

Cats and Dogs.

'Russell, it's not necessary to take the goldfish out for a walk.'

'I'm sure he thinks he's a parrot!'

'It's the only way I can wash him.'

"Such a cute little thing-what do you call it?"

'When you said you were a bee keeper...'

"I'm more of an 'I like to watch' dog."

"We’re trying to inject a little pastoralism into our lives."

"Hi, I'm Miranda: I like sniffing bums, rolling about in dead things and chasing tennis balls. . ."

Thinks Bob: At last, the most practical house pet since the goldfish.

"The Help Desk guy says to try Ctrl-Alt-Delete....!"