Quirky Fix Expert Gifts

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

'The guy in the scarecrow shop promised me that nothing scares crows better than the 'Giant Fox XR50'.'

"That vulture just appeared and started picking at my phone. My battery must have died."

Not all service desk staff were pleased about the new bring your own device policy

"Dad needs a Phillips screwdriver. Who's Phillip?"

Remote control car breakdown.

Problem Solver Wanted

'Can you show me on this dolly what Bill Gates did to your computer?'

"Shall I kiss it better?"

'We've found the problem...'

"The Help Desk guy says to try Ctrl-Alt-Delete....!"

'WRONG PIN NUMBER!'

'I think I've found what's causing your funny buzzing sound.'

"Kick the machine"

'Try rebooting.'

'Is the drain still clogged, Henry?'

'No worries son, I'll manage with my saw until my hammer turns up.'

"You have reached technical support...your call is important to us so please stay on the line..."

'Boss, the techies didn't install this body scanner correctly. It doesn't work.'

"You may have an MBA, but I can change a light bulb."

'Yes - He's armed.'

"I can't get the thingamabob to connect with the whatzadoodle. Who should I call?"

"I Hate Carrots."

"The problem is that your trap is one big macaroni."

Replacing a rubber fanbelt with a leather belt.

Boy with his finger in a leaking water bed.

"If you want proof that your email is working again, then you can read all the spam you just received."