Quick Fix Enthusiasts Gifts

"Duct tape..."

Liposuction Drive Thru

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

Tool Box

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

"When it comes to fixing his own computer, I call it his PDDIY project. That stands for please DON'T do it yourself."

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

Timber preservation

Fixing the TV.

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

Is this for wiping greasy hands?

Bob’s Museum

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

'Certainly. Here's the break-down. Seventy-five dollars for my labour. And seventy-five dollars for you impersonating a plumber.'

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

'Your car's ready, but drive carefully for awhile. I had to give the student an 'F' for the work he did on it.'

'Why did you get a huge socket wrench set? You never use socket wrenches.'

"Was it a fuse?"

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

"That vulture just appeared and started picking at my phone. My battery must have died."

'I think I found the problem.'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

Organized chaos.

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

"We remain reasonably confident that once we nail down the little network problem we're having, all Hell will be able to break loose according to the modified schedule, which, unfortunately, is in a file we can't seem to locate right now."

"Dad needs a Phillips screwdriver. Who's Phillip?"

'Any day now I'll fix the roof.'