Quick Fix Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"Duct tape..."

Liposuction Drive Thru

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

Tool Box

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

"When it comes to fixing his own computer, I call it his PDDIY project. That stands for please DON'T do it yourself."

Fixing the TV.

Is this for wiping greasy hands?

Timber preservation

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

Bob’s Museum

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

'Certainly. Here's the break-down. Seventy-five dollars for my labour. And seventy-five dollars for you impersonating a plumber.'

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

"That vulture just appeared and started picking at my phone. My battery must have died."

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

"Was it a fuse?"

'Why did you get a huge socket wrench set? You never use socket wrenches.'

'Your car's ready, but drive carefully for awhile. I had to give the student an 'F' for the work he did on it.'

'I think I found the problem.'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

Organized chaos.

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

"Dad needs a Phillips screwdriver. Who's Phillip?"

"We remain reasonably confident that once we nail down the little network problem we're having, all Hell will be able to break loose according to the modified schedule, which, unfortunately, is in a file we can't seem to locate right now."

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

"Shall I kiss it better?"