Fix-it Aficionados T-Shirts

Washing machine maintenance

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

Tool Box

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

"When it comes to fixing his own computer, I call it his PDDIY project. That stands for please DON'T do it yourself."

'I've found a spade I like Julia...'

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

Fixing the TV.

Timber preservation

Is this for wiping greasy hands?

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

Bob’s Museum

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of dealing with emergency plumbing problems are the hardest.'

'Certainly. Here's the break-down. Seventy-five dollars for my labour. And seventy-five dollars for you impersonating a plumber.'

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

"Was it a fuse?"

"That vulture just appeared and started picking at my phone. My battery must have died."

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

'Why did you get a huge socket wrench set? You never use socket wrenches.'

'Your car's ready, but drive carefully for awhile. I had to give the student an 'F' for the work he did on it.'

'I think I found the problem.'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

Organized chaos.

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

"Dad needs a Phillips screwdriver. Who's Phillip?"

"We remain reasonably confident that once we nail down the little network problem we're having, all Hell will be able to break loose according to the modified schedule, which, unfortunately, is in a file we can't seem to locate right now."