Quirky Pet Fixer Pillows

'Oh, you use buttons to hold his eye stitches in place!'

'Fetch.'

Biofelineism

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

Cat Show

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

he used to belong to a cartoonist

"And always remember...If you're going to be sick, always do it on the carpet. It's more absorbent."

Lady taking her Cochin chickens for a walk.

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

"That was the pet store, dear - they want to know if you've noticed any minor flashes of aggression in Joey since starting the steroid bird feed?"

"I guess people want dogs with no problems. Lucky for me, all I've got is quirks."

'And this is scraps.'

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

'He's an octopussy. They're specially bred to catch over 100 mice an hour.'

'Walking your pet amoeba again, Henry?'

'Hey Joe!...Me? Oh,nothing much,just out walking the fish.And you?...'

'Last year's 'Bring your pet to work day' turned out very well.'

Cats and Dogs.

'I'm sure he thinks he's a parrot!'

'It's the only way I can wash him.'

"Such a cute little thing-what do you call it?"

'Russell, it's not necessary to take the goldfish out for a walk.'

"I'm more of an 'I like to watch' dog."

"We’re trying to inject a little pastoralism into our lives."

'When you said you were a bee keeper...'

"Hi, I'm Miranda: I like sniffing bums, rolling about in dead things and chasing tennis balls. . ."

"The Help Desk guy says to try Ctrl-Alt-Delete....!"