Quirky Pet Decorator Pillows

"Right now, may the good Lord strike me dead with pneumonia."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

Cake Free Zone

Filet minion

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

Man with raked leaves on wall plaques.

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

Bathroom Fairy

"Can that be right?"

The Hammer

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

Yard Sale

Pinata Trophies

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

'There, that should freak 'em out.'

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

Rogue elephant

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

Hunter in stand in a Christmas tree tied to a car.

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

"Oh just ignore him!...he always shows off when we have visitors!"

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

Frankenstein's Reading Light

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

Leonardo Da Vinci's Cat