Quirky Fixer Pillows

"Did you call someone to come test for margarine residue in the refrigerator?"

"Kick the machine"

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

Unable to afford scaffolding, Dave ties plungers on his feet to get up a wall.

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

"Fido's determined to find that bone."

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

George was a bit intimidated by his IKEA self-assembly wardrobe.

Enlightened Cursing

"She does this when she's tired."

Chair - Ready for Self Assembly.

DIY.

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

Super glue . . .

Irritable dowel syndrome

Home Business - Printer Ink.

"The Help Desk guy says to try Ctrl-Alt-Delete....!"

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

"Now just open wide and relax. Uncle Fred has told me he has a way to fix your braces faster and cheaper than that overpriced orthodontist."

'Are you ready for me to read the instructions yet?'

Nobody new the identity of the mad bandager

Unfinished Furniture.

"Dad, I'll assemble yours if you assemble mine."

'Is the drain still clogged, Henry?'

'They can be a real menace at this time of year.'

"Tell Santa that Rudolph's check engine light is on."

"I was just kidding when I said that thing they sit on is a giant chew toy. I hope you can act cute, because you're in big trouble."

"Use less powder. You're planting them too deep."