Quirky Penal System Enthusiasts Gifts

'That's what I like about Jeremiah - NOTHING gets him down!'

'Half-time, full-time - It's gone into penalties, woman!'

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

Special Place in Hell...

"This is too hard, but I'd recognize him on his own."

'It's innocent or guilty. There are no do-overs.'

'Good morning! Lawyer, lawyers and more lawyers! Who may we sue for you!'

'Uh-oh. That's the 'special' whistle. ... This is going to be a major penalty.'

The hearings on the Supreme Court vacancy will now come to order..."

'You must have doubts because even I don't know if my client is innocent or guilty.'

"I want to thank all of you for a fair trial and if you're ever up Leavenworth way don't fail to drop in and see me."

Adult Crime, Childish Thinking Time

'Since prisons are full, I'm sentencing you to 5 years of Jury Duty.'

This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz.

"Sorry, you've got the wrong number."

"The jails were all full so they sent me to an open prison."

"Permission to treat the witness as hostile, your honor?"

Prisoner is treated to leg of lamb for dinner.

"Could my client be innocent? Probably not. My point is it's interesting to think about."

Arrested outside the grisly scene, Ms. Goody Two-Shoes uttered, "I'll be out in no time. I got no priors."

'Hey. You're back.'

'I've been called up for jury service!'

'You're not allowed out of the Coach's Penalty Box.'

'The warden said, no...you may not call in an interior decorator.'

'I got your sentence reduced from tar and feathers to molasses and confetti!'

Santa visits prison.

'The prisons are full, so we're going to chain you to a mailbox.'

A toast, to the ones who got away.

"Governor just called with a reprieve!...But it's only, wait, did you not change the clock back?""

'I was this close to parole, and then the stupid Republicans got back into the White House!'

'The prisons are full, so I'm releasing you back into the wild.'

'This trial will take approximately one week despite the defendant's obvious guilt.'

'I didn't get a fair trial, my judge owned the house I burgled.'

'I've developed a variation of Linkedin. It's Lockedup.'

"Oh, just sheltering in place, how about you?"