Quirky Punishment Enthusiast Gifts

Special Place in Hell...

Football Crazy strip six

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

'What's wrong with you?'

"Drop it... Such things banished in our kingdom."

'Mother thought you'd like some fruit!'

"I can't help you with your chronic whistling. You don't need a psychiatrist, you need a musicologist!"

I'm afraid I'm going to have to disciplines you, counselor. No problem, your honor. I just happen to have some furry handcuffs in my pocket.

'Does this mean you're grounded?'

'Your honor, for personal reasons, my client would prefer to wait in his car while the verdict is being read.'

'You must have doubts because even I don't know if my client is innocent or guilty.'

"The inspector's not getting older. He's getting odder."

Circus News

Square peg in a round hole: 'I say if it feels right, do it.'

"Thanks goodness, I thought she was pregnant?"

Guest Houses.

"What?"

"Judging by where I've been transferred to, I think my boss is still unhappy with me for opening that attachment and infecting all the computers with a virus."

"My boss combines the impulsive joie de vivre of Ebenezer Scrooge with the empathy and comradeship of a tarantula. Less hair, though."

'You always get one!'

'The prisons are full, so we're going to chain you to a mailbox.'

'The warden said, no...you may not call in an interior decorator.'

'I got your sentence reduced from tar and feathers to molasses and confetti!'

"I'm being punished. My parents are making me watch a movie without a superhero in it."

Terrainspotters.

Erractic Review

'I didn't get a fair trial, my judge owned the house I burgled.'

A toy idea that never caught on.

"He's a bit OCD with his spaghetti."

Idiot Dog.

"God, you're so random."

"It's all right if you sing to yourself. Why is it peculiar if you talk to yourself?"

'If you think he's bad, just wait till they send in the social workers.'

'The hair shirt is sufficient. You don't have to shave with a hedgehog.'

"You have been found guilty of smug self-righteous pseudo-spirituality. I sentenced you to a period of six months with your wind chimes strapped to your head."