Quirky Punishment Enthusiast Pillows

Special Place in Hell...

Football Crazy strip six

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

"Drop it... Such things banished in our kingdom."

'Mother thought you'd like some fruit!'

"I can't help you with your chronic whistling. You don't need a psychiatrist, you need a musicologist!"

Circus News

'Does this mean you're grounded?'

'You must have doubts because even I don't know if my client is innocent or guilty.'

'Your honor, for personal reasons, my client would prefer to wait in his car while the verdict is being read.'

"The inspector's not getting older. He's getting odder."

Square peg in a round hole: 'I say if it feels right, do it.'

Guest Houses.

"What?"

"Thanks goodness, I thought she was pregnant?"

"My boss combines the impulsive joie de vivre of Ebenezer Scrooge with the empathy and comradeship of a tarantula. Less hair, though."

"Judging by where I've been transferred to, I think my boss is still unhappy with me for opening that attachment and infecting all the computers with a virus."

'You always get one!'

'I got your sentence reduced from tar and feathers to molasses and confetti!'

'The warden said, no...you may not call in an interior decorator.'

'The prisons are full, so we're going to chain you to a mailbox.'

Terrainspotters.

"I'm being punished. My parents are making me watch a movie without a superhero in it."

Erractic Review

'I didn't get a fair trial, my judge owned the house I burgled.'

Idiot Dog.

A toy idea that never caught on.

"He's a bit OCD with his spaghetti."

"It's all right if you sing to yourself. Why is it peculiar if you talk to yourself?"

'If you think he's bad, just wait till they send in the social workers.'

'The hair shirt is sufficient. You don't have to shave with a hedgehog.'

"You have been found guilty of smug self-righteous pseudo-spirituality. I sentenced you to a period of six months with your wind chimes strapped to your head."

'I just sold 50 gallons of blood to buy new hunting equipment. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going home to pass out.'