Ironic Punishment Expert Pillows

"I'm being punished. My parents are making me watch a movie without a superhero in it."

Stop and Birch

"Look,we'll settle this on penalties, not an American style shoot out."

Special Place in Hell...

"Congratulations, gentlemen - we have achieved failure."

'Sir! We're all doomed! It's a fitted sheet! How can we ever hope to stop something we can't even fold?!'

Well, since your sentence is only for five years, you might as well go on home now.

"Well, for starters, you’re holding the shovel all wrong."

'The hard time isn't so bad, but that community service is murder!'

"No, but I saw Purple Rain."

'Does this mean you're grounded?'

Hanging Judge

'Oh good! I hate long lines.'

'He's one of the strictest referees in the competition...'

'Your teacher says you've been a good boy again! That means you're grounded, young man!!'

'Boy, when they say one trip salad bar, they MEAN one trip salad bar!'

"An own-goal and a rebound penalty, huh!"

Express Confessional: Six Sins or Less

Bank manager standing in front of safe has combination written on his hand

'He was warned. One more 'T' and he'd be gone.'

"They don't get it when I wag my tail ironically."

'I like it!'

'It's my hard and fast rule never to have a drink as long as I can see the sun!'

Hamster Cello tape.

'...I used to lobby for the pharmaceutical industry.'

Idiot Dog.

'And then the jury decided that I was ready for a long term relationship with the penal code system.'

"Now is the winter of our discontent, made worse by all the rain in York..."

'There goes a flag... could be a face-mask penalty.'

'Two-tier NHS.'