Ironic Punishment Expert Gifts

"I'm being punished. My parents are making me watch a movie without a superhero in it."

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

Stop and Birch

"Look,we'll settle this on penalties, not an American style shoot out."

Special Place in Hell...

'Sir! We're all doomed! It's a fitted sheet! How can we ever hope to stop something we can't even fold?!'

"Congratulations, gentlemen - we have achieved failure."

Well, since your sentence is only for five years, you might as well go on home now.

"Well, for starters, you’re holding the shovel all wrong."

'The hard time isn't so bad, but that community service is murder!'

Official Support Groups

"No, but I saw Purple Rain."

'Does this mean you're grounded?'

Hanging Judge

'Oh good! I hate long lines.'

'He's one of the strictest referees in the competition...'

'Your teacher says you've been a good boy again! That means you're grounded, young man!!'

'Boy, when they say one trip salad bar, they MEAN one trip salad bar!'

"An own-goal and a rebound penalty, huh!"

Those who say you can make order out of chaos are lousy at anagrams.

Guru on cliff reads Cliff Notes

Express Confessional: Six Sins or Less

'Yeah...who knew community service would be this harsh?'

Bank manager standing in front of safe has combination written on his hand

"Now is the winter of our discontent, made worse by all the rain in York..."

'There goes a flag... could be a face-mask penalty.'

'And then the jury decided that I was ready for a long term relationship with the penal code system.'

Idiot Dog.

'...I used to lobby for the pharmaceutical industry.'

"They don't get it when I wag my tail ironically."

Hamster Cello tape.

'It's my hard and fast rule never to have a drink as long as I can see the sun!'

'I like it!'

'He was warned. One more 'T' and he'd be gone.'

'Two-tier NHS.'