Quirky Penal System Enthusiasts Pillows

'That's what I like about Jeremiah - NOTHING gets him down!'

'Half-time, full-time - It's gone into penalties, woman!'

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

Special Place in Hell...

"This is too hard, but I'd recognize him on his own."

'It's innocent or guilty. There are no do-overs.'

'Good morning! Lawyer, lawyers and more lawyers! Who may we sue for you!'

'Uh-oh. That's the 'special' whistle. ... This is going to be a major penalty.'

"I want to thank all of you for a fair trial and if you're ever up Leavenworth way don't fail to drop in and see me."

The hearings on the Supreme Court vacancy will now come to order..."

'You must have doubts because even I don't know if my client is innocent or guilty.'

This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz.

"Sorry, you've got the wrong number."

Prisoner is treated to leg of lamb for dinner.

"Permission to treat the witness as hostile, your honor?"

'Since prisons are full, I'm sentencing you to 5 years of Jury Duty.'

"The jails were all full so they sent me to an open prison."

"Could my client be innocent? Probably not. My point is it's interesting to think about."

Arrested outside the grisly scene, Ms. Goody Two-Shoes uttered, "I'll be out in no time. I got no priors."

'Hey. You're back.'

'The prisons are full, so we're going to chain you to a mailbox.'

'I've been called up for jury service!'

'You're not allowed out of the Coach's Penalty Box.'

'The warden said, no...you may not call in an interior decorator.'

"Governor just called with a reprieve!...But it's only, wait, did you not change the clock back?""

'I got your sentence reduced from tar and feathers to molasses and confetti!'

'I was this close to parole, and then the stupid Republicans got back into the White House!'

'The prisons are full, so I'm releasing you back into the wild.'

Santa visits prison.

'This trial will take approximately one week despite the defendant's obvious guilt.'

'I didn't get a fair trial, my judge owned the house I burgled.'

'The next case, Your Honor, is Elmer B. Galsworthy versus just about everybody else.'

'One good thing, with the shortage of judges, you will have served your time before the case comes to trial.'