Quirky Parent Appreciator Pillows

"Do you like creepily polite children of strangers?"

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

He won't sit, but he heels well.

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

"Can you believe he was the last dog at the shelter?"

"Where's your nose?"

'Don't be surprised if he throws that life preserver at you. I got him at a rescue shelter.'

"I taught him to eat with a fork."

'That kid! He forgot it again!'

"Geese fly in a V, son--attorneys fly in a wedge."

'Now, you've been naughty, you're in time out! I'll turn you over in five minutes!'

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

"Someday when you have a kid of your own and you feel the urge to arbitrarily say no just because you can, you'll understand."

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

'...and please God, protect the social security fund for another sixty years.'

'I'm here, Mom, hanging out with some friends.'

"Congratulations, counselor - it's a baby boy, with a full set of teeth."

'Monster mobiles.'

'Daddy's busy - Go draw on the wall.'

Lucky has an 'out-of-potty' experience.

You and your alternative pregnancy.

The Most Interesting Dog in the World. . .

'He followed me home. Can I keep him, mum? Can I?'

"...My daughter, the model..."

'I'm not an indoor cat. I'm a bitter, angry, frustrated, resentful, repressed cat.'

'Congratulations! It's an omelette!'

'The baby cut a tooth today.'

'They go on a lot of picnics.'

Is it true kids your age lie 14 times a day? That's outrageous! Yeah, mom. It's sooo off. Good to hear! 14 seems high to me. 8 sounds right.

"I'll explain later."

I don't understand the way kids today express themselves and communicate. I don't understand the way kids today express themselves and communicate.

'Dogs have more charisma but cats have more electricity.'