Quirky Parent Appreciator Gifts

"Do you like creepily polite children of strangers?"

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

"Can you believe he was the last dog at the shelter?"

"Where's your nose?"

'Don't be surprised if he throws that life preserver at you. I got him at a rescue shelter.'

'Now, you've been naughty, you're in time out! I'll turn you over in five minutes!'

'That kid! He forgot it again!'

"Geese fly in a V, son--attorneys fly in a wedge."

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

"I taught him to eat with a fork."

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

"Someday when you have a kid of your own and you feel the urge to arbitrarily say no just because you can, you'll understand."

'...and please God, protect the social security fund for another sixty years.'

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

'I'm here, Mom, hanging out with some friends.'

'Daddy's busy - Go draw on the wall.'

'Monster mobiles.'

You and your alternative pregnancy.

"...My daughter, the model..."

"Congratulations, counselor - it's a baby boy, with a full set of teeth."

'He followed me home. Can I keep him, mum? Can I?'

'I'm not an indoor cat. I'm a bitter, angry, frustrated, resentful, repressed cat.'

'Dogs have more charisma but cats have more electricity.'

'They go on a lot of picnics.'

"I'll explain later."

'The baby cut a tooth today.'

'Congratulations! It's an omelette!'

Boho Bribes