Parent Appreciator Gifts

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"Just dropped by to do my groceries."

"I adore kids, but I also adore Netflix."

"You're fatigued, run down, anxious, with high blood pressure, back ache, and a general malaise. You've got kids."

Judge, jury and executioner.

"Someday when you have a kid of your own and you feel the urge to arbitrarily say no just because you can, you'll understand."

"And this is Joshua, he'll be a hundred and forty-seven months next week."

"...My daughter, the model..."

'Hey Mum, look what I caught!'

"This is humiliating. Couldn't you drop me a block from school?"

"Very impressive. Leave it with me. Mommy will get back to you by the week."

"I'm not surprised that it's a bad school report. Statistics indicate that children get their intelligence from their fathers!"

'It seems like only yesterday that Sharon was knee high!'

I'm almost full grown, you've got to stop treating me like a kid!

'Ms. Evertz, has my mother been snooping around my office again?'

'It's a little read book... the sayings of charwoman mum.'

'I don't think your dad likes me, Angie.'

"Careful with that corn. It's a gateway food to other vegetables."

Parental Valentines Day Cards

"His parents think the way to school is too dangerous."

'Come on Timmy, you must eat your greens.'

"At least you're not afraid to fail."

'Quick! Kids! There's a positive male role model on the television...'

"Your parents bring the presents, and he takes the credit."

World's Greatest Mom...I approve of this message.

'I wanna be a milkman like my dad when I grow up!'

'You flunked math.'

"Do you like creepily polite children of strangers?"