Parent Appreciator Gifts

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"Just dropped by to do my groceries."

"I adore kids, but I also adore Netflix."

"You're fatigued, run down, anxious, with high blood pressure, back ache, and a general malaise. You've got kids."

Judge, jury and executioner.

"Someday when you have a kid of your own and you feel the urge to arbitrarily say no just because you can, you'll understand."

"And this is Joshua, he'll be a hundred and forty-seven months next week."

"...My daughter, the model..."

'Hey Mum, look what I caught!'

"This is humiliating. Couldn't you drop me a block from school?"

"Very impressive. Leave it with me. Mommy will get back to you by the week."

"I'm not surprised that it's a bad school report. Statistics indicate that children get their intelligence from their fathers!"

'It seems like only yesterday that Sharon was knee high!'

When we're first born, they clean up our drooling. When we can't swim, they help with our pooling. When halloween comes, they take us ghouling. When homework gets tough, they aid with our schooling. When it gets hot, they make sure we're cooling. Moms are the best! We thank you, no fooling!

My mom won't let me walk to school. I might get mugged. She won't let me play sports. I might get injured. West Fester High School. And she won't let me get onto the scales. Why not? It might hurt my self-esteem.

I'm almost full grown, you've got to stop treating me like a kid!

'Ms. Evertz, has my mother been snooping around my office again?'

'It's a little read book... the sayings of charwoman mum.'

'I don't think your dad likes me, Angie.'

Friends began to feel that Gina was only dating Howard as a father figure.

"Careful with that corn. It's a gateway food to other vegetables."

"Go ahead. Ask Grandpa to tell you the story about why we don't play with matches."

I need to take the day off. Family tragedy. What happened? An errant parachutist crash-landed. My grandmother knocked down. Then attacked by clowns. No one ever buys sick day anymore.

Parental Valentines Day Cards

"His parents think the way to school is too dangerous."

'Come on Timmy, you must eat your greens.'

"At least you're not afraid to fail."

'Quick! Kids! There's a positive male role model on the television...'

Are you ready for the greatest treat in the world? Please don't do this. You are about to see the cutest baby. He's adorable. Excellent. I love babies. Aaaah! Didn't I tell you? Don't speak. Looks like a 90-year-old member of the British Parliament. Speechless, I know. Want another peek? No, please! No, it's too incredible for me. Beauty is in the eye of the mother.

"Your parents bring the presents, and he takes the credit."

World's Greatest Mom...I approve of this message.

'I wanna be a milkman like my dad when I grow up!'

'You flunked math.'

"Do you like creepily polite children of strangers?"