Parental Appreciation Gifts

When we're first born, they clean up our drooling. When we can't swim, they help with our pooling. When halloween comes, they take us ghouling. When homework gets tough, they aid with our schooling. When it gets hot, they make sure we're cooling. Moms are the best! We thank you, no fooling!

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

"Could I ask just one question?"

'I had no idea aspirin came in such a large bottle.'

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

'What begins with 'E'? Well, 'Everything'!'

"I know it may be wrong, but it's how I feel."

'A dog ate my homework.'

'Maths is fun!'

Higher wisdom...

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

In an unprecedented occurrence, Noah Webster fails his vocabulary test.

'146 days of leadership without any negative press.'

Presentation: Any questions?

"I adore kids, but I also adore Netflix."

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

"Unfortunately, what you downloaded from the net is a ten-year-old paper I once wrote for my college boyfriend!"

Child: 'If I've got five oranges, and you take away two, wouldn't that be stealing Miss?'

'Eleven?.. you mean there's more numbers beyond the number of fingers we have?'

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

"OK...for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

Teacher boxing book: 'As I told you, today we're gonna really hit the books!'

'My teacher said my penmanship has really improved since I started doing my homework on an inkjet printer.'

"You're fatigued, run down, anxious, with high blood pressure, back ache, and a general malaise. You've got kids."

The F.B.I.'s Least Wanted.

'The first person to learn anything leaves immediately!'

"So you can tweet. That's why you have to learn the alphabet."

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

'By the second week of instruction all first-graders should be able to count to one.'