Quirky Omnivore Pillows

"I can see...two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!"

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

Tzatzikicicle

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

You are what you eat (Nuts).

"Is it me, or would a dung beetle taste really good right now?"

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

Ice Cream Flavors

"It's just like the regular stew only it's got some bits of matter in it we can't identify."

Okay... which one of you ordered the holy mackerel?

De ja vu soup - 'It was yesterday's 'soup of the day'.'

Arabic Thief Salad - lashings of whipped cream...

"Do you have anything on the menu without maple syrup on it?"

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

'You're pushing food round your plate.' 'No, it's moving on its own.'

Early bird special - Grilled Pterodactyl.

"Sorry no half portions - at least that's the quantum theory."

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

How is your soup, sir? Speaking for myself, it looks pretty good. I can't speak for the fly, of course.

Is it too late to substitute a bee in my coffee for a fly in my soup?

'The items with the little hearts will clog your arteries the fastest.'

'My husband eats like a bird - Do you have regurgitated insects?'

"Mom says I should eat differnt colored foods. I'll have a pizza with jelly beans."

What can I get you? Coffee? Tea? Sandwich? The mackerel mocha sounds lovely. What's in it? The usual. Chocolate. Soy milk. Mackerel. Yes, but is the mackerel farm-raised or from the sea? Ocean. Atlantic? Pacific? Indian? Arctic? Antarctic? I'm not sure. Oh. Ok ... well what's the mackerel's mercury content? Negligible, I'm sure. Ok. Was it exposed to any chlorine? Or copper sulphate? Or malathion? Was it treated with kindness? Was it read stories and sung to before bedtime? Yes. Never mind, it s

Schoolgirl in canteen: 'The food's great but I wish they'd stop calling it 'pukka tukka'.'

"There are 12,000 species of ants... and you prefer worms?"

'You dunk your donuts your way...'

If the fruit isn't genetically modified, explain the fruit fly.

Eye of Newt Helper

Spy microchips in Chinese instant noodles

"Hey, do we have strawberries crushed in cream cheese?"

"Your steak's prepared in the firebox of a 17th century tank engine - unfortunately sir, the chef can't confirm if it has 0-60T wheel arrangement or not."

Waiter to diner: 'I'm going to return you to the main menu.'