Quirky Food Lover Pillows

Waitrose stock non standardised fruit.

"All of our menu items have a tobacco-juice base."

Cheese in a Can.

'If I were you I wouldn't eat this on an empty stomach.'

"We're very strict. No soy milk, no veggie burgers, no margarine... nothing that even looks like an animal product."

Tzatzikicicle

Parisian Bohemians - Proprietor of a rabbit restaurant catching stray cats

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

De ja vu soup - 'It was yesterday's 'soup of the day'.'

'I'm putting the scalpels in the freezer now, so that come lunchtime, you can make cold cuts.'

'Oswald? The last I heard, he was covered with chocolate and canned.'

NERD SEED 50 CENTS

'How would you like that veggieburger...deep fried in lard, or smothered with bacon bits or salami slices?'

'If it walks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck, it's a genetically modified potato.'

'My brains and your rice pudding we could corner the glue market.'

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

"All our vegetables are organic, ethically sourced and stunned before being boiled."

Kentucky Fried Horse

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

"Is it me, or would a dung beetle taste really good right now?"

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

Ice Cream Flavors

'I don't eat red meat. That's ok, this is gone green.'

Octopi a la mode.

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

Okay... which one of you ordered the holy mackerel?

Roadkill Restaurant

How is your soup, sir? Speaking for myself, it looks pretty good. I can't speak for the fly, of course.

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

'What on earth is this? Hedgehog soup.'

Early bird special - Grilled Pterodactyl.