Quirky Cuisine Enthusiast Pillows

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

Served "giant claw" style.

Kentucky Fried Horse

Octopi a la mode.

'Waiter, there's a left hand with well-manicured fingernails in my soup...'

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

'Eat locally - all roadkill from 8-mile radius'

Roadkill Restaurant

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"All our vegetables are organic, ethically sourced and stunned before being boiled."

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

Tzatzikicicle

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

Cheese Secret

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

"Is it me, or would a dung beetle taste really good right now?"

Ice Cream Flavors

'I don't eat red meat. That's ok, this is gone green.'

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

Our Troubled Chowders

Early bird special - Grilled Pterodactyl.

'What on earth is this? Hedgehog soup.'

De ja vu soup - 'It was yesterday's 'soup of the day'.'

How is your soup, sir? Speaking for myself, it looks pretty good. I can't speak for the fly, of course.

Okay... which one of you ordered the holy mackerel?

Chernobyl Chow

"Nice going, Larry. They're going in after your liverwurst and sardine sandwich that fell behind the fridge last month."

Suddenly Harold froze, trying to remember if he had ordered a side of roaches, or if this was a gross violation of public healthcare policy.

Spy microchips in Chinese instant noodles

What can I get you? Coffee? Tea? Sandwich? The mackerel mocha sounds lovely. What's in it? The usual. Chocolate. Soy milk. Mackerel. Yes, but is the mackerel farm-raised or from the sea? Ocean. Atlantic? Pacific? Indian? Arctic? Antarctic? I'm not sure. Oh. Ok ... well what's the mackerel's mercury content? Negligible, I'm sure. Ok. Was it exposed to any chlorine? Or copper sulphate? Or malathion? Was it treated with kindness? Was it read stories and sung to before bedtime? Yes. Never mind, it s

"And the insect du-jour, is that served in the soup or on the side?"

"Hey, do we have strawberries crushed in cream cheese?"