Quirky Foodie Pillows

"Can I just have a bowl of frosted cocoa marshmallow puffs?"

'I'm afraid these'll have to do for the time being. There was a delivery mix-up with our order.'

'A pregnancy test? Here you are - this bowl is filled with fish, strawberry jelly, cucumber and chocolate sauce. Eat it. If you like it, you're pregnant.'

'One slice of toast and a bottle of ketchup, please.'

"So I said to myself...who am I to deny this calling?"

Weird Candy Cane Flavors

'For some reason- no one knows why - it got a reputation as a power hot dog.'

Esp Pizza - You'll get it before you order it, or it's free!

Montana Health Food: 'BEEF 'N' BRAN SALOON, breakfast, lunch, dinner.

'Is this good or bad? 'Contains genetically-modified insect parts.'

Cold Dogs: The low cost alternative.

'You order a pizza topped with sunflower seeds and crackers?'

The genetic junkie business.

'I think these 'special order' meals are getting out of hand.'

Early bird special - Grilled Pterodactyl.

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

"The skyscraper comes with your choice of fries, soup or salad."

'Always remember to wash your hands after handling raw poultry. I'm not sure how that's worse than drinking from the toilet, but my producers made me say it.'

"...And would madam like the snail porridge?"

Free Range Locally Raised Rats on a Stick, 50 cents.

"Is it me, or would a dung beetle taste really good right now?"

"Just a reminder...the bread bowl is edible, but not the glass and utensils."

"You'll like this place. The food is eclectic without being schizophrenic."

"I'm a lacto-ovo-everything-else-that-tastes-good vegetarian."

Spy microchips in Chinese instant noodles

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

Actually Didn't Want Fries With That

"I'd like to order a cheese pizza with everything on it except cheese."

"Oh, give me a break. I quit smoking."

A woman looks at the menu posted in the front window of a restaurant; a nearby sign reads "Free gluten".

The improbable burger

"Hey, do we have strawberries crushed in cream cheese?"

"So exactly when did you first experience this craving for a corned beef sandwich on white bread with mayonnaise and a glass of milk?"

1880: Braille becomes faddish with the introduction of a ranch 'flavor-blasted' variety

"Im glad we're not as cute as crickets - otherwise, someone could be touting cockroach flour."