Quirky Eater Pillows

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

'My husband eats like a bird - Do you have regurgitated insects?'

You are what you eat (Nuts).

'Mushy peas? And would you like your cod and chips likewise, sir?

"I'll have the pork in cider...easy on the pork"

"You've got to try some of this heirloom watermelon. It's full of seeds."

"The Quintuple Burger is our limit. We don't stack more burgers than you can have heart bypasses."

'Maybe we should have read the reviews first?'

"Mom says I should eat differnt colored foods. I'll have a pizza with jelly beans."

'How is the water prepared?'

'Yummy! I could eat here every day!'

Prescription Diet

'You dunk your donuts your way...'

'Ooo, I just felt the good cholesterol kick the bad cholesterol.'

New Ways to Combat Obesity.

'The salad of the day? It's a mezclum made with the left overs of the last two days' salads.'

'No one else likes chocolate chip pizza!!'

'Look! Lots of people use a toothpick after dinner.'

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

"I love that all the veggies are made from textured farm bacon."

Sesame Noodles

"Sorry no half portions - at least that's the quantum theory."

"Your food should be out shortly - just waiting for the exterminators to finish mopping up."

"Your steak's prepared in the firebox of a 17th century tank engine - unfortunately sir, the chef can't confirm if it has 0-60T wheel arrangement or not."

"Me, I eat mostly roadkill: it saves me countess hours of hunting and stalking and leaves me time to concentrate on my art. . ."

Schoolgirl in canteen: 'The food's great but I wish they'd stop calling it 'pukka tukka'.'

Little Jimmy Harmon: first to amplify the sparerib

The Sprats

Farm Fresh

"It's just like the regular stew only it's got some bits of matter in it we can't identify."

"There are 12,000 species of ants... and you prefer worms?"

"Do you have anything on the menu without maple syrup on it?"

Why do I chew every bite of food exactly 66 times? I have two reasons. One is that it improves my digestion. The other is that Satan told me to.

Is it too late to substitute a bee in my coffee for a fly in my soup?

'We'll take three of the big bags... oh boy! This stuff always tastes better at the ballpark!'