Quirky Occasion Seeker Gifts

We need to create new reasons to give greeting cards.'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

Hay Rides $10

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

Ball as water-melon.

wattle covers

A watch face with Stonehenge

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

Picks your own strawberries....Strangle your own turkeys

Mayhem, Inc. Part 15

Customer entering bank that is touting number of toasters given away

"Where can I find the lefts?"

Where Deviled Eggs come from

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

"Roadkill cookies"

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

Santa's Helpers

"Pass that."

Regifts of the Magi

International House of Excrement

'...You're just not built to take selfies.'

Fish mobsters.

'Buy two pounds and I'll throw in the sword.'

'If you're out and about today don't forget the pith helmet.'

Notorious gangsters, Bunny and Clyde.

"Your online profile says you like to foxtrot."

"That's $20 for you if you pluck the tail feathers off my rival over there..."

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

I'm getting old, I spotted a couple of brown hairs among the punk.

"What seems to be the problem?"

"I'm glad I don't have to put gas in it. the downside is that it takes a lot of time to put 3,000 AA batteries in it."

"Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Fred, Sam, Brian, John, Walter, Jeff...."

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."