Quirky Meeting-goer Gifts

'The cow mooed, the pig oinked, the chicken clucked, I baaed and then we adjourned.'

The devil you know and his plus one

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

Sleepwalker on treadmill

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

John liked to involve his pet snake in his keep-fit programme.

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

"Pardon us, Harrison, if the board fails to share your enthusiasm for the foliage up in Darien,"

'I'm not very good at mingling.'

'I can't say I like your cavalier attitude Benson.'

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

"This position may call for some occasional plumbing."

Spoonstock.

"Eating the mistakes is a tough job, but somebody has to do it."

"This one is less distracting."

'It's saving us a fortune on retirement costs.'

"They say every team has a member who is suffering from mental health issues. Not this team eh?!"

'May I play through please?'

'Oh I can't stay here, i'm allergic to shell fish.'

'It's the newest fitness craze. It's called 'tie bow'.'

"Woodpecker gets an office job."

"I guess I thought 'Andy and the blenders' was a band."

Seth Schubert, Concert Harmonicist

"Let me help you in your effort ti think INSIDE the box once again."

The Fifth Annual Crow Convention - "If you ask me, I reckon it looks like a murder!"

"Your vacation is over, deal with it!"