Quirky Meeting-goer T-Shirts

'The cow mooed, the pig oinked, the chicken clucked, I baaed and then we adjourned.'

Sleepwalker on treadmill

The devil you know and his plus one

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

Peel poker.

John liked to involve his pet snake in his keep-fit programme.

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

"Pardon us, Harrison, if the board fails to share your enthusiasm for the foliage up in Darien,"

'I'm not very good at mingling.'

'I can't say I like your cavalier attitude Benson.'

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

Cow with Hay In Tray and Milk Out Tray.

I always feel so short when you wear heels.

'Nest, my impression of Beethoven's sonata inD major, of.31, no.2, as played by Humphrey Bogart.'

"This position may call for some occasional plumbing."

Spoonstock.

"This one is less distracting."

"Eating the mistakes is a tough job, but somebody has to do it."

'It's saving us a fortune on retirement costs.'

"They say every team has a member who is suffering from mental health issues. Not this team eh?!"

'May I play through please?'

"Your vacation is over, deal with it!"

"Let me help you in your effort ti think INSIDE the box once again."

'Oh I can't stay here, i'm allergic to shell fish.'

The Fifth Annual Crow Convention - "If you ask me, I reckon it looks like a murder!"

'It's the newest fitness craze. It's called 'tie bow'.'

Seth Schubert, Concert Harmonicist

"I guess I thought 'Andy and the blenders' was a band."

"Woodpecker gets an office job."