Quirky Medical Fan Gifts

Sewing Machines in Surgery

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

"Trust me. This is going to make it easier to discuss your childhood."

"Do you have a family history of this condition?"

"Mr. Wilson? I'm Dr. Bradshaw. Please come in."

'Extreme acupuncture.'

'I've got a good idea! Let's take everything out and start from scratch.'

Medical Curiosities

"I'm going to prescribe medical marijuana and sour cream & onion tortilla chips."

"My Harvard Medical Guide says if a wisdom tooth is infected, you may need antibiotics and possibly have the tooth pulled by an oral surgeon."

'Gesundheit! You must have an uncommon cold.'

Freak Accident Specialist

"Oh, here's the problem. He's got a doohickey on his thingamabob."

"Take one three times a day after meals."

'No, there is no such thing as generic doctors!'

'The bad news is you had two diseases no one in history ever had together, The good news is they canceled each other out'

You've probably heard of "White Coat Syndrome," the phenomenon in which patients exhibit a high blood pressure level in a clinical setting, even though they don't in other settings. Well, you won't get away with that here.

He seems healthy, but I'd like to keep him here for observation.

Yes, by all means, Mr. Fusco, feel free to seek out a second opinion

"I'd like the mud and the hot rocks therapy. Tell me more about this slingshot treatment."

Man shaving from foam on a mug of beer.

Be In Need of Transplant Organs?

Hospital Sign: Admissions, Outpatient, Drive Thru.

'That's is. Keep your finger on there until I have this knot tied.'

Scary surgery

Organ Exchange Bank

"Okay lets close up. Oooh wait...wishbone!"

"I love boutique healthcare! I have a great doctor on retainer and I get this great subscription box every month!"

Monk's Muffler Shoppe.

'So the epithelial cells recovered by the fiberoptic branschoscopy suggests....'

"Harry, the glaucoma machine needs adjusting again!"

'He can't stand the sight of blood.'

'In the medical world you and I are going to be famous.'

'I sure hope business picks up soon.'

'Doctor, Mr. Flynn says since his surgery, he's been thirsty all the time. Do you think you could have left a sponge in him?'